


Weenie in a Bottle

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: First Times, Humor, M/M, Senslash Fun, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 10:00:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/797036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you get when you have one really drunk guide and one really stupid idea?  Uh.read and find out!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weenie in a Bottle

## Weenie in a Bottle

#### by Sentinelgrl

  
I do not own any of the characters of the television show, "The Sentinel" or the song, "Weenie in a Bottle" by Weird Al Yankovich nor am I making any money by writing this story.   
  
This story was previously published in My Mongoose Ezines' "Many, Many More Chapters of The Sentinel".   
I like to thank my beta, Mary, my friend Sue for cracking the whip when the plot bunny bite me on the ass and wouldn't let go and my cousin Jennie for sending me the song that inspired the story.   
  
The song that inpired the story is Wierd Al Yankovich's "Weenie in the Bottle." You really have to listen to it to understand how this plot bunny grabbed a hold of me and wouldn' let go.   
  
This story is a sequel to: none

* * *

Blair Sandburg was bored and lonely. 

His roommate, Jim Ellison, was out of town for the moment at a police conference in Seattle, and wouldn't be back until the end of the week. 

He really needed to get laid. 

Blair had feelings for the sentinel for quiet awhile now. 

When Blair's feelings got to be too much, he would call up one of his 'friends' and fuck them senseless to get Jim out of his system. It helped for awhile, but the feelings always came back. 

Now you ask why Blair never told Jim how he felt about him? 

Simple. 

Jim's straight as an arrow. During the years he's known the buff cop (who's also a Greek god in disguise) he's never seen him with a man. Just women. 

The only other person that knew how Blair felt about Jim was Simon Banks, Jim's boss and captain at the police department where Jim worked at. Simon had been very understanding about the whole thing. He even encouraged Blair to tell Jim and he tried a couple of times, but always at the last minute he would 'chicken' out. 

_Wuss._

  * Are you going to be a man or a mouse, Sandburg?* 



Blair suddenly had some hankering for some cheese... 

* * *

After he made some calls and not coming up with anything, Blair was getting frustrated. He really needed to get laid before Jim came back in a couple of days. 

While he was making calls, he helped himself to some of Jim's whiskey and was feeling buzzed and horny. 

He poured the last of Jim's whiskey in the glass and downed it one gulp. Feeling unsteady, he staggered over to the couch in the living room to sit down with the bottle in his hand. 

Blair laid back and closed his eyes and thought of Jim. Why can't Jim love him like the way he wanted to be loved? 

Blair looked at the empty bottle of Arizonia Tea he had earlier in the day but hadn't thrown it in the trash just yet. 

_Hmmmm....it's about the right size._

Blair got up and went into the kitchen area to look for some lube. 

After finding what he was searching for, he grabbed the tube of lube and walked into his bedroom and laid down on his futon. 

Unzipping his pants, he took his cock out and started to stroke it causing it to harden. Opening the tube of lube, he poured some in his hand and started to rub it on his cock thinking about fucking Jim in that tight ass of his causing the member harden even more. 

What he did next was where he made his mistake... 

In his drunken haze, Blair stuck his cock in the neck of the bottle while fantasying fucking Jim's ass. 

"Oh Jim..." 

The bottle felt tight around his cock and he began to harden even more. When he pulled on the bottle to slide his cock out... 

"Ouch!!!" 

Blair blinked. 

  * What the? * 



Blair pulled on the bottle again with no results. 

_Uh oh._

"Aww...what did I just do?" he groaned pitifully. 

* * *

**RRRIIINNNGGG!**

Simon Banks picked up the receiver and barked, "Banks!" 

"simon?" 

"Sandburg, is that you? Look, I'm pretty busy right now..." 

"Simon, I need help!" 

Simon sighed and said, " Sandburg! If it's a woman..." 

"No! I mean...it's not a woman. God...this is embarrassing..." 

Simon frowned. 

"Spit it out! I haven't got ALL DAY!" 

Simon took a slow swig of his coffee... 

"mycockisstuckinabottlesimon...." 

Simon's eyes bugged out as he spewed his coffee all over his papers on his desk. 

"What?!?!" he bellowed out not believing he heard right. 

He heard Blair sighed on the other end of the line. 

" I said, 'My cock is stuck in a bottle', Simon." 

"That's what I thought you said." 

There was silence. 

"Uh, Blair?" 

"Yeah Simon." 

"Might I ask how you..uh.." 

"...no, Simon!" Blair blurted out 

"I didn't think so." 

Simon was having a hard time keeping from laughing at the images in his head. His whole body was shaking. He let out a snort. 

Blair's icy voice came over the line: "Simon? Are you laughing at me?" 

"No! No, I'm not, Sandburg!" 

Simon let out a snicker. 

"You ARE laughing! I knew it!" 

"No. I'm. Not. Sandburg." 

Simon can hear Blair groaning on the other end of the line. 

"What am I going to do? If anyone finds out, they'll never let me live it down. Especially Jim!" 

Simon couldn't help but feel sorry for Blair. 

"Have you tried...?" 

"Yes! It gets harder and it hurts now..." 

"What about some sort of lubricant?" 

There was silence on the line. 

"Simon, that's how I got it in the bottle!" 

Simon quickly clamped his hand over his mouth to smother the laughter that was threatening to come out and held the receiver away from his ear as he fought to gain control over himself. 

After a few minutes, he put the phone receiver back to his ear. 

"Sandburg..." 

"Are you finished laughing?" 

Simon blinked. 

  * How does he do that??* 



"Uh...have you tried breaking the bottle?" 

**"SIMON!!!"**

  * Nope. No go...out of the question...* 



"Well, Sandburg, I don't know what to tell you..." 

Simon looked up in time to see Jim Ellison come through the door into the bull pit a few days early. 

An evil grin slowly came over Simon's face. 

_There 'might' be a way to get those two together yet!_

"Uh...Sandburg? Sit tight. Let me get back to you in a few minutes, okay?" 

"Simon..." 

Before Blair could finish his sentence, Simon hung up the phone and bellowed, "ELLISON! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!" 

* * *

After Jim left the station, a loud howl of evil laughter could be heard coming out of Simon's office. 

Rhonda looked at Megan as she made her way from peeking through the blinds of Simon's office a frightened look. 

"What's up the captain?" asked Megan. 

"I think Simon just lost it!" Rhonda whispered back. 

Both women looked in the direction of Simon's office with worried looks on their faces. 

* * *

Blair was starting to panic. 

  * I hope Simon gets here soon. I can't take much more of this!* 



God forbid if Jim finds out about this. He'll never let Blair live it down. God! How does he get himself into these fixes?? 

Blair heard the door to the loft open. 

"Hey Chief? I'm home!" 

Blair shot up out of his futon in a panic. 

Blair held his breath. 

He heard Jim's footsteps coming closer to his bedroom door. 

"Chief? What's wrong? I can hear your heart rate going pretty fast there. Are you alright?" 

_Damn sentinel senses!_

"Ah... Jim! Don't come in!" Blair called out while trying pulling the bottle of his dick. 

"Sandburg! I KNOW something's wrong in there! I can hear your heart pounding! I'm coming in!" 

Jim opened the door to see Blair sitting on his futon. With a pillow in his lap. And the biggest smile on his face. 

Jim blinked. 

_Something's wrong with this picture._

"Hey Jim! I didn't know you were going to be back so early!" 

_Yeah. Like... a couple of days early! Why did you have to come back now?_

Jim looked down at his guide and lend against the door frame crossing his arms. 

"What's with the pillow on your lap, Chief?" 

"Pillow? What pillow? Oh! This pillow?" Blair asked with an innocent look on his face. 

Just looking at Jim was making him even harder. He winced. 

_Damn! This is really hurts!_

"Yeah. That pillow. What's it doing on your lap? Are you trying to 'hide' something?" Jim asked again hiding his smirk. 

Blair pulled the pillow closer to the front of him hiding his erection and bottle. 

"Oh nothing. I just feel like having my pillow in my lap, that's all." he lied. 

_YEAH! Like he's gonna believe that, Sandburg._

Jim stared at his guide. 

_He's hiding something under that pillow..._

"You know, Blair, I thought we were friends, " Jim said as he sat next to him. 

Blair slowly inched away clutching at his pillow. 

"We are, Jim. We are." 

" I thought we can tell each other anything, Chief," Jim added as he inched his way towards Blair on the futon. 

Blair was beginning to look nervous. Jim could see beads of sweat breaking out all over his forehead. 

"Uh...we can, Jim. You know that, " Blair replied looking downward. 

"Then why are you clutching your pillow like it's your lifeline?" Jim asked while grabbing the pillow. 

Jim was expecting alot of things for Blair to be hiding, but what he saw wasn't one of them. 

Blair's cock was stuck. In a empty bottle of Arizonia Tea. 

Jim fell off the futon onto the floor laughing his ass off with Blair glaring at him. 

"Yeah. Laugh it up Chuckles. I'm in serious pain here!!!" he yelled at his friend while standing up. 

They both heard a soft clink as the bottle brushed up against Blair's zipper while hanging off his dick. 

Blair rolled his eyes upward and groaned. Jim just laughed even harder as he rolled on the floor. 

* * *

"All right, Chief, there's got to be some way to get that thing off of you, " Jim said as he paced in front of Blair in the front room. 

Blair looked mournful at Jim. 

"I tried everything, Jim. I don't know what to do!" 

"Have you tried..." 

"Done that." 

"Oh." 

There was silence throughout the loft. 

"What were you trying to do? Uh... skip that. I KNOW what you were trying to do." Jim said. 

"Who? Uh..." Jim tried to ask but at the same time trying to keep the laughter at bay. He looked at his guide and started to feel sorry for him. Jim sighed. 

"Aww...Chief. Who's the girl you were thinking of?" 

Blair muttered something. 

"What? I didn't quiet get that." 

Blair sighed and looked down at the floor. 

"I said, 'It wasn't a girl." 

Jim blinked. 

_Not a girl? It was a guy? Blair's gay???_

Jim had feelings for Blair for awhile now but hadn't said anything because his guide hadn't shown any indication that he was interested in guys. 

_Hey!! Wait a minute! Blair's interested in a guy! And it's not me, DAMN IT!_

"Who's the guy, Chief?" Jim asked softly. 

Blair's head whipped up and around to face Jim. 

"Wha...?" 

"I said, who's the guy? Whoever it is, he's not good enough for you!" 

Blair was confused. Was Jim gay? Bi? Hell, did it mean that maybe Jim was interested in him? Or it could mean that Jim was straight and was only concerned about him. 

Blair decided to take a chance. 

"It's you." Then he waited for Jim's reaction. What he got was what he didn't expect. 

Jim laid a kiss on Blair's lips. 

After making out for a few minutes, Blair pushed Jim away. 

"What's wrong, Blair? I thought you wanted this." 

"I do, Jim, it's just it's getting painful _down there_ right now. I've got to get some relief here!" 

Jim started to slip Blair's shirt off. 

"I know of a way, Blair..." he said silkily. 

Jim got the rest of Blair's clothes off and made him lay back on the couch. 

"Perfect..." 

Blair blushed. 

"Someone has too much clothes on here," he said. 

"Getting there, Chief. I'm getting there." Jim purred. 

After pulling his clothes off, He kneeled next to Blair running his hands through Blair's chest hairs tweaking his nipples to hard points. 

"After this, no more bottles, no more anyone else except me," then gave Blair a soul searing kiss. 

"I'm going to fuck you into this couch, Chief. Bend over." He ordered. 

Blair immediately got up and went around the back of the couch and bend over shoving his ass in Jim's face. 

Jim chuckled. 

"Eager. Are we?" 

Jim grabbed the tube of lube and poured some on his hands. He then slowly pushed one finger up Blair's asshole causing Blair to gasp. 

"Alright there, Blair?" 

Blair nodded. Jim's finger was slowly sliding in and out, hitting Blair's prostrate causing tremors run through his body. 

"more... " he rasped out. 

Jim chuckled. He was getting hard as a rock just thinking about fucking Blair's sweet, tight ass. 

"You've got it." 

Jim pushed two fingers up Blair's ass and let them sit there for a minute so Blair could get used to it. 

"Jim, stop fucking around and fuck me already!!" Blair bit out. 

Jim took his fingers out and made sure there was plenty of lube on his cock. 

He placed the tip of his cock at Blair's entrance and slowly entered him. 

That was too slow for Blair's liking so as soon as Jim entered him, he slammed back into Jim, engulfing him, catching the sentinel off guard. 

_God, it feels good!_ Blair thought. 

Jim pulled back and pushed back again. 

"Damn, you feel hot and tight there, Blair!" 

Both men were starting to build up speed. 

"Yeah! Harder, Jim! Harder! Make me feel it into next week!" 

"Fuck! You feel so good, Chief!" Jim gasped. 

Jim could feel his balls starting to tighten up. 

"God! I can't hold much longer, Chief..." 

Blair's balls also started to tighten up. 

"Goddamn..I'm co..." Blair started to yell as he came. 

That sent a chain reaction with Jim as he also came with a yell and collapsed on Blair on the back of the couch. 

As they laid there breathing heavily, they could hear a _clunk_ as the bottle slipped off of Blair's cock and rolled quietly across the floor. 

Jim slowly got up and helped Blair up and looked down at his cock. 

Blair's cock was slightly swollen and red. Jim winced. 

"Are you alright?" he asked his guide. 

Blair leaned against the couch and and winced a little. 

"Yeah. Just a bit tender. It'll be alright in a day or so." 

"Come on, Chief. I could do with a nap right now, " Jim said as he started up the stairs. He stopped and stared at Blair. 

"You coming?" 

"You want me in your bed, Jim?" Blair asked hopefully. 

"Correction. 'Our' bed. I meant it when I said you're not fucking anyone else but me. Hell...you know I'm not good with words, Blair." 

Blair gave Jim a goofy grin. 

"I know Jim. I love you too." 

Jim gave Blair the same goofy grin back. 

Blair started up slowly up the stairs with Jim. 

"Why are you home early, Jim?" he asked his lover. 

"I came back early and stopped at the station to do some paper work, but Simon said you had a problem you needed help with, so I came home. Funny thing though. He never said what it was." 

"Remind me to get Simon a gift, Jim." 

* * *

End Weenie in a Bottle by Sentinelgrl: Drey71861@aol.com  
Author and story notes above.

  
Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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